Thursday, 1 January 2009

I ♥ Skort

(Some names have been changed to protect my coworkers.)

So there's this student we call Skort because that's what she wears; short skorts. Whether or not she realizes it, every man who looks at her immediately has an 'incident' involving his nether regions and thoughts of hers. She weighs about as much as my finger, has eyelashes that go forever and so far can barely pronounce "hello" correctly. (She's Unit 8 for those familiar with the Wall Street system). I should also mention that Wall Street is a private school for adults only; this story could have taken on a slightly disturbing tone without that little piece of info.

I guess I'll explain a little more about Wall Street to give the following story some context. All of the walls are made of glass. That's really all you need at this point.

The other day I was in the teachers room with Steve and Jesse. Our office is in direct sight of the Encounter rooms, an Encounter being a class of four or less students. We glance over to Jarrod's class and see our old pal Skort wearing what used to be a skort, but has magically morphed into a skirt. How did this transformation occur? Because she took the shortest pair of short shorts ever and cut out the crotch turning them into nothing but vagina. We could see straight up the ex-shorts and, for the life of us, could not look away. To make matters worse, her sweater said, in giant black lettering, "I ♥..." and the last word was blocked from view by the table.

Read: I ♥ Crotch

We were mesmerized. As more teachers joined us in the office (all male I might add) the atmosphere ranged from amazement to down right arousal.

Finally, the class ended and Jarrod came into the office with a look of utter helplessness on his face. He made a phew sound, shook his head and said, "That damn girl wouldn't stop speaking Chinese in class and it drove me nuts."

There were a few seconds of shameful silence in which the rest of us started to realize what pervs we were compared to Saint Jarrod when, under his breath, the good Saint muttered, "I thought I was going to have to spank her," and gone was any semblance of decency.

To top it all off, remember how we couldn't see what the last word on her shirt was? Guess what it said. No, you can't, it's too good...

I ♥ NAKED

No word of a lie.


Quote of the Day:

About Skort, obviously. Before the class had ended.

Seth: It's really just spelled out there, isn't it?
Steve: It's more like a diagram.
Angie: A flow chart, if you will.

4 comments:

samantha said...

Awesome.

ps. I'm so glad you're writing blogs again!

Angie Pants said...

Yeah, I'm stoked to be writing again!

Can you invite me to your blog?
I wanna read!

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha
That made my whole week

I remember students dressed like that when I was in Beijing...

Workin' on getting there
Love you!
Nathan

jo jorgenson said...

I think this is the best thing I have ever read. If only there were defenestration involved. Although with the dangerous lack of clothing that could make things much more X-rated than they already are.